Oh mother, what have you done
by SakuraWonka
Summary: The memories of Princess Ace,the oldest of Iracebeth's ten children. CHAPTER 3 UP! rated T for safety
1. Introducing the Ace

Introducing the Ace

Everyone who read "Alice in Wonderland" knows that in the story, the Queen of Hearts had ten children from numbers "ten" to "one"- the Ace. They weren't mentioned in the film, but I changed things a little… These are the memoirs of Lady Ace, the daughter of Iracebeth of Crims.

Time is a fickle thing; age as come so much faster than expected. Now, at the age of eighty-four years, I know death isn't going to wait much longer. That is why I have decided to write down my memories. Whoever reads this, be it a king or a pauper,  
a beast or a man, know this: My life's story is not for the faint hearted.

First, I must explain a few things about Underland, the world I was born in. My parents were the King and Queen of Hearts. They were the regents of the Card Kingdom of Crims, a small kingdom in Underland. The other Card Dynasties- the Clubs, the Diamonds and the Spades- had long ago died out. The reason for our kingdom being so small was the size of the people living there. Cards are very thin; they don't need a lot of space.  
The other kingdom was the Chess Kingdom. It was considerably bigger in size (chess pieces need more space) and originally reigned by two rulers: Red and White. However, the last Red King died without children, and so my aunt Mirana ruled alone as White Queen. She and my mother were the children of the White Queen and the Prince of Hearts. My mother and my father were cousins; his father had been the older brother of hers. Actually, my mother should have become Red Queen; after all, she was the older one. But her parents had thought it would be to dangerous for someone as passionate as her to rule over such a huge kingdom and have so much power, so she was married off to her cousin. Now that I've explained my complicated family history, I shall begin with the actual story.

I was born on the last day of the year. A day on which an heir to a throne is born is called Carendush Day, and a royal child born on the last day of a year is said to have a dark destiny.  
My younger siblings were all born with one year's stretch in between. Our parents weren't very imaginative when it came to name giving, so Ace was not only my title, but also my name. Then followed my sisters Two and Three, my brothers Four, Five, Six and Seven, and the triplets Eight, Nine and Ten- first two being girls and Ten being a boy.  
Our upbringing was very traditional; the moment mother could leave bed after giving birth, the child was handed to the nursemaids. I was the only one who was given the privilege of spending more time with my parents, for I had to learn everything about being a queen. My brothers and sisters only saw our parents at mealtimes or when we all went to play Croquet.  
Being the eldest also brought other privileges. I was the only girl that was allowed to learn how to ride like a man, how to use a sword and command an army. My brothers and I were taught by a man named Ilosovic Stayne. He was the last descendant of the Spades family and the Knave of Hearts. He was a good-looking, tall man with dark hair and dark eyes. Everyone knew that my mother had a certain thing for him- everyone except for my father, that is.  
My father can be described with three adjectives: naïve, easily cheated on and even tempered. Mother on the other hand was a proud, easily infuriated woman with an obsession for beheadings and a great deal of hate towards her "puny-headed" little sister.

She'd always been jealous of Mirana, especially because she had a normal-sized head and was very beautiful. My younger sister Two looked a lot like Mirana and for that reason she was the one who was most often punished, though she was the most obedient of us.  
I was the perfect copy of my mother (before you ask, my head is normal sized), except the colours were turned round: instead of red hair and black eyes, I had black hair and reddish-brown eyes. I was considered a beauty by most people, but I never really cared. This is perhaps the most dominant difference between me and mother: while she was dressed in the most expensive clothes, decorated herself with lots of jewellery and wore too much make up, I was always in dressed in boy's clothes- after all, I stood in for a prince. I didn't stop wearing these clothes until the day I was crowned.  
So, as you can see, life was pretty normal in Underlandian terms- until a small blonde someone stumbled across the Croquet game that was part of my twelfth birthday party.


	2. The girl called Alice

The girl called Alice

My twelfth birthday was a huge celebration. Mother had even made her famous tarts on this summer day (I'm born on December 31st, but it's always summer in Underland) and there was to be a splendid garden party with a game of Croquet afterwards. My presents consisted mostly of books (such as "Dominion over the living things" and "One hundred and one ways to annoy your courtiers") and weapons- a new sword from father and a beautiful set of arrows adorned with Jubjub feathers from mother. (They were both keen on making a war hero out of me for some reason.)  
On formal occasions such as balls or royal birthdays, my siblings and I had to wear silk tunics, each embroidered with our number. Mine was more splendid than the others, the "A" for Ace was stitched with gold and there were little rubies sewn onto the hearts. I was rather proud of it. Many guests came, even people from the Chess Kingdom. It was quite boring having to sit next to my father's throne and welcoming all of them. Also, having to dance so much at the party was very tiring and my feet hurt afterwards. I started to dread the oncoming game of Croquet. But nonetheless I tried to look cheerful as we marched to the Croquet field. I shall describe this procession to you: First came the Club Cards, which were ordinary soldiers. Next came the Diamond Cards, the courtiers. Then followed the royal children, marching in pairs, Ten and Nine in the front and me and Two last. The guests followed and after them my parents. As we marched along, I noted three gardeners standing around a white rose bush that was sprinkled with red paint. Oh, oh. Mother wasn't going to like this. Indeed she didn't. "What is this?" she screeched. The gardeners tried to explain, but they didn't get far. "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" mother yelled. I was used to her sentencing about ten people a day to death, and knew none of them were ever harmed because they were all pardoned again. So I didn't pay any further attention to this action until I heard a determined voice say: "You shan't be beheaded!" Who or what was this? I turned my head in the direction. It was a little girl in a blue dress about half my age who'd spoken and was now busy hiding the three unfortunate gardeners in a flowerpot. The soldiers who'd left the procession to execute them couldn't find them. Suddenly, my mother noticed the girl. "Who are you?" she asked curiously. "My name's Alice, your majesty," the girl replied.  
I didn't hear what she said next, but it must have been something mother did not approve of, for once again she cried: "Off with her head!" Alice glared at her. "Nonsense!" she scoffed. All of us- the soldiers, the courtiers, us children, the guests and even father- gasped with shock: never before had someone dared to speak with the Queen of Hearts like that!  
"Cut off her head," she hissed trough clenched teeth, and this time, she really meant it. "Consider, my dear, she is just a child…" father tried to calm her down. Mother frowned and bent down to the little girl. "Can you play Croquet?" she asked her. "Yes, your majesty!" replied Alice. "Then come along!" mother ordered. We marched off again and had soon reached the Croquet field. In my youth, it was custom to play this game with flamingos and hedgehogs. Nowadays Croquet is played with mallets and balls made of wood, a fashion that has come from Upperland. Alice seemed to have trouble following the game, but she did quite well. I tried to concentrate on the game, although I found it quite boring because either I or mother always won. But once I glanced at the strange blonde girl. And in the same moment, she looked up from her hedgehog and directly into my eyes. I felt something strange, like I knew something bad was going to happen, and only she could save me from it. I didn't know then that all _true_ queens of Underland have a gift for sensing trouble; had I known and had I acted quicker, many bad things wouldn't have happened. But I was only a twelve year-old girl at the time. Still, I could feel there was something odd, no _special_ about this Alice. Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of arguing voices. I noticed that a crowd of people had gathered around a spot on the other end of the field. The three people arguing were my father, my mother and the executioner. I didn't know what was going on until I saw the grin hanging in the air. It was the Cheshire Cat, of course. When he noticed me, he grinned even broader- and then he vanished. The others didn't seem to notice.  
"I want that cat removed!" cried father.  
"OFF WITH IT'S HEAD!" yelled mother.  
"I can't cut off a head with no body," said the executioner.  
"It belongs to the Duchess. Go ask her," remarked Alice. Mother turned towards the executioner. "The Duchess is in the dungeons. Go fetch her," she ordered. The man shot off like an arrow. A few minutes later, he returned with the Duchess, who was a middle-aged, remarkably ugly woman with a pointy chin and a temper to match my mother's. She'd been late, and when mother had scolded her for this, she'd boxed her ears. Of course, the Duchess had been sentenced to beheading after this. She seemed very glad to see Alice- apparently they'd met before- and probably hoped to escape sentence somehow, for Alice had developed some sort of status among the others thanks to her defiance towards the queen. They marched off together, their arms linked. Mother and I stood next to each other and watched the two figures wandering off into another part of the castle gardens.  
"That girl's weird somehow. She's definitely not Underlandian," I said. "No, I don't think so either. I guess she's from Upperland. I don't want her here," she frowned, "she lessens my authority." I shrugged. "Send her to the Mock Turtle then, the lazy Gryphon needs something to do anyway," I suggested. Mother beamed at me; a rare thing. "What a splendid idea! That's my girl," she said and hugged me- an even rarer thing. Now you must know that I was a daddy's girl, but I did love my mother, even though she was short-tempered and sometimes even cruel (never towards us, though). When I was little, I believed mother loved us, just as any other mother loves her children. It wasn't until I was grown up that I realized it wasn't _us_ she loved. She loved power. And having children meant power to a queen. She was the one who carried on the bloodline. Her children would rule all of Underland. The dynasty of Crims would survive, while Marmoreal would die out. Everyone knew Mirana wasn't fertile, and she wasn't even married. "The White Virgin of Underland" she was secretly called. Mother's plan was probably to have me and my siblings all married to high-standing members of the White Queen's court once we were old enough. I would have taken over Mirana's throne after her death and become queen of the entire country. The politician inside of me has to admit that it wasn't a bad plan. So much for the relationship with my mother for now. I returned to the Croquet field, where only my brothers and sisters were left. All the guests had left because they feared the Queen of Hearts. "Come on, let's rest under a tree," I suggested. We all sat down underneath a large oak. "Happy Birthday, sis," said Four. "Yeah, Happy Birthday," the others all said. "Happy Un- Birthday to you all," I answered. We sat silently for a while, watching two of the hedgehogs fighting each other. Then suddenly the Cheshire Cat re-appeared. "Hello, your highnesses," he greeted us. He grinned down at me. "Having a nice party?" he asked. "Oh, shut up!" I snapped. I wasn't in the mood for Chessur's games. "Tut, tut…you're becoming more like your mother every day!" he smirked before vanishing again. "Stupid cat, "Five yawned, tired because of the heat. Two, who sat next to me, looked exhausted. She'd always been a bit frail, and the way mother treated her didn't do any good for her health. The poor girl was unlucky. She truly was the spitting image of Mirana, why she even had her blonde, almost white hair, which stood out since the rest of us had either red or black hair. I'd met Mirana once when I was five years old. My only memory of her was that of a tall, slender woman all in white with a silver crown atop her head. But her face was on the silver coins of the Chess Kingdom, and Two looked a lot like it. Unlike mother, I was never jealous of any of my siblings, even though Two was prettier, Three had the more beautiful singing voice and Six could draw superbly while all I was good at was fighting and riding. Being the eldest made me feel I was responsible for the younger ones. I loved them dearly, although they could get on my nerves, especially my brothers.  
We were all dozing off when suddenly, we heard a female voice inside the castle scream:  
"SOMEONE HAS STOLEN THREE OF MY TARTS!" We all looked at each other, surprised.  
"Who's suicidal enough to steal mother's tarts?" Two wondered.  
"Dunno. Maybe father?" Seven suggested, shrugging.  
"No. Then she wouldn't be so angry." I considered.  
Mother started to scream again. "THAT KNAVE! IT WAS THE KNAVE! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"  
"Stayne!" we all cried in surprise. Why would the usually faithful Knave of Hearts steal the Queen's tarts? Oh, I've made a rhyme.  
"Six, go and investigate," I told my brother. When he didn't stir, I continued, "You still owe me three gold coins and a tea cup."  
Six got up and ran into the castle. "Why did Stayne do that?" Two wondered.  
"If he did it at all," Three piped up. We all looked at her.  
"Oh, well,…" she began, blushing, " a few days ago I overheard a conversation between him and mother," she admitted.  
We all grinned knowingly. Three was the best spy in Salazen Grum. She had an uncanny talent for hearing things she was _not_ supposed to hear.  
"Well, mother and he were having an argument. She wanted something from him he didn't seem willing to give. Kept repeating he was loyal to father. Finally mother left and said he'd regret refusing her offerings," Three told us. "I guess she took away the tarts herself to get him into trouble."  
We all look at each other astounded. Mother had tried to seduce Stayne?  
Everyone knew she had a slight crush on him since they'd first met at the mere age of ten, but none of us had thought she would go as far as betraying her husband.  
In that moment, Six came back, panting. "There's gonna be a trial," he gasped and collapsed next to Four. "They're fetching witnesses from all sorts of places!"  
"Are we allowed in?" I asked eagerly. Six shook his head. Damn it.  
"I'm sorry for you, Ace. I guess that's not the way you imagined your birthday to end," Two said apologetically. I shrugged. I was used to it by now.  
Suddenly, I noticed Alice was entering the castle. Obviously she'd escaped the Mock Turtle's endless mourning. I didn't tell the others. For some reason I didn't want them to know.  
I didn't want to talk about her at all. But why? I really had no idea.  
Then suddenly, someone came running up to our tree. It was the weirdest man I'd ever seen. His clothes were colourful and he was wearing a top hat. His hair was long and orange, as were his bushy eyebrows. The eyes underneath were bright green and had pink and blue markings round them. His complexion was very pale and his lips were bright pink. All in all, he looked like he'd suffered a mercury poisoning. He bowed slightly. "Hello, my name is Tarrant Hightopp, Hatter, at your service. Forgive me, but I was still drinking tea when I was summoned," he said, waving the teacup he was holding in one of his bandaged hands. Ah, a Hightopp. That explained the hat and the skin. Tarrant Hightopp looked round worriedly.  
"Would you happen to know where the trial is taking place?" he asked us, "You see, I'm one of the witnesses and I'm late and the queen will sentence me to death if I'm not on time and I like my head, it's a nice head, at least I think so, but maybe it isn't, I guess there"-  
"Shut it!" I cried to make him stop rambling. The hatter blushed. "Sorry. I'm fine," he said. "Go in at the main entrance and follow mother's yelling. You can't miss it," I said sarcastically.  
The hatter beamed. "Thank you!" he said. Then his jaw dropped. "Did you say _mother_? But then you are…and the others are…." He fell on his knees. "Apologies for not recognizing you, your highnesses," he said respectfully. He looked into my face, red eyes meeting green ones.  
"Happy Birthday," he said softly and smiled. I blushed slightly at his tone. Then he got up and walked into the castle. The others started giggling. "Acey loves the hatter, Acey loves the hatter!" they crooned. Even Two joined in. I blushed furiously- a trait I'd inherited from mother- and told them to stop. Of course they didn't and I spent the next hour or so sulking whilst the others continued to make jokes. As the twilight set in, people started coming out of the castle. Father sauntered towards us and kneeled down beside me. "Stayne was pardoned. He swore he'd never steal again," he told us. We looked at each other, all thinking the same thing: how could father be so naïve and not notice what was going on?  
He opened his arms wide and beamed down at me. "Come on, birthday girl, give daddy a hug. I didn't get one this morning," he said, pretending to be upset. I laughed and hugged my father, who picked me up. "It's rather late. Let's get you all to bed before your mother gets angry…er," he said. We were so tired we didn't even object.  
As father bid us all good night that evening, I whispered into his ear: "What happened to Alice?" Father gave me a don't-be-so-nosy-look but told me anyway.  
"We're not sure. Your mother got angry with her and when the card soldiers wanted to grab her, she suddenly vanished. Maybe she can evaporate like that cat earlier today," he said, grimacing at the memory. "Good night, Acey." He gave me a kiss and left That night, I dreamed of the hatter, the Cheshire Cat and Alice, who was wearing a suit of armour and had my mother's crown on top of her head.


	3. Tea Party

**Finally managed to finish chapter 3! This took me ages to finish it, sorry for the long wait.**  
**I don't own Alice in Wonderland...tragic, I know.**

* * *

**The Tea Party**

Two weeks after my birthday, things were back to normal again.  
I spent my days fencing, riding and learning- just the way it had always been.  
Mother was almost constantly in a bad mood- just the way it had always been.  
My siblings were bored most of the day- just the way it had always been.

Yet something was different. I found it more and more difficult to concentrate on my training, because I could not forget Alice.

And, although I would not admit this to anyone,  
I couldn't forget the hatter, Tarrant Hightopp. I knew that the Hightopp clan consisted mostly of hatters and dressmakers  
and that all of them lived in the village of I'd never met a Hightopp until my birthday because most of  
them worked in the Chess Kingdom. The thought of Tarrant's green eyes made my stomach feel as if there were bread- and- butterflies in it.  
I may have been an arrogant, proud princess, but I wasn't that different from other teenage girls. And so, Tarrant Hightopp became my first crush.

"Arrgh!" Stayne gave a short cry of dismay as I knocked the sword from his hand and pointed my own sword at his throat. "Dead," I said, laughing. Stayne gave me an approving nod.  
"Very good, your highness. A lesser skilled opponent won't last one minute against you."  
"You didn't last one minute either, Sir Stayne," I smirked.  
The Knave grinned. "I was merely distracted by her highnesses beauty," he replied.  
"Yeah right," I said with a laugh and pushed my brand-new sword back into its sheath.  
Suddenly, Nivens McTwisp, a white rabbit and one of our pages, darted across the training field towards me. He was holding a scroll of parchment.  
"An invitation for her royal highness Ace of Crims, the Princess of Hearts," he said, giving me the scroll. Curious, I opened it and read it eagerly:

_Your Highness,  
You may not remember me. My name is Tarrant Hightopp, hatter, at your service.  
I met you when I was witness at the trial about the tart theft.  
Once again I must apologize for not instantly recognizing you.  
I would like to invite you for tea at Tulgey Mill on Sunday. The party is going to last from dawn till dusk, so you'll never be late whenever you choose to arrive!  
I hope you will come so I can properly apologize for my silliness!  
Yours sincerely,_

_Tarrant Hightopp _

Tarrant was inviting me for tea? Happily I read the letter again and again.  
"I shall write a reply immediately," I told McTwisp. (Stayne had meanwhile left to attend to his other duties.)

The helpful rabbit smiled and produced a fresh sheet of parchment and a quill. I sat down on the floor and used a nearby rock as table to write my reply.

_Dear Mr. Hightopp,_

_I would be glad to attend your tea party. I shall arrive at five o' clock.  
Yours sincerely,_

_HRH Ace of Crims _

I handed the scroll to faithful Nivens, who immediately dashed off with it.  
Now there was only one problem to face.  
_Mother._

"A _hatter's_ tea party? Why do you want to go to an ordinary hatter's tea party?" mother asked incredulously.  
"You could have the most lavish tea party right here at home, if you wished," she continued. I shook my head.  
"No, thank you, mother. I'd rather go down to Tulgey Mill, if you don't mind. I would be rather impolite to refuse such a kind invitation. People might think I'm arrogant," I tried to convince her. (I didn't realize then that I _was _arrogant.) She examined her crimson nails and sighed.  
"All right then, but take at least one card soldier with you as an escort."  
"Thank you, mother!" I beamed and left the throne room after curtsying. Mad with joy, I dashed up to my bedroom and locked the doors behind me. My siblings had to share their rooms – always two per room (except for the triplets) – but I had my own suite. It was another privilege of being the eldest. It wasn't until recently that I realized why I got all the extras, more than any other heir or heiress ever got. Mother saw herself in me. She had been denied all the privileges being the eldest usually brought, including the crown. Her parents had given everything to Mirana. That's why she made sure _her_ oldest child got what it deserved and even more. Back then of course, I didn't think of it this way. I took everything for granted- my jewels, my clothes, my expensive weaponry, my horses, my own room; my parent's adoration and attention; my sibling's love- and envy… it was something I'd never have questioned. It wasn't until I had lost it all that I knew it had been a most gracious gift from heaven. Right now although, I had a much more basic problem: What was I to wear? Usually, I didn't care for clothes the way my sisters did. I was dressed in boy's clothes, day in, day out. Only on very special occasions I would wear a dress. Today was a special occasion, but the only two dresses I possessed were far too formal, too_ royal_, in fact. I sighed in frustration, realizing I'd need some help.

"Erm…Two, can I come in?" I asked uneasily. Two grinned. "Does someone need a fashion expert here?" she smirked. I blinked in confusion. "How did you…?" Two shrugged and simply replied: "Three." Ah, so our little spy had been on the loose again. "Well, I do need your help…with, Er, fashion stuff…" My voice trailed away together with my pride. Two grinned like a maniac. "Finally…I've been waiting for this so long!" she said in a mocking tone as she pulled me into her room she shared with Three. "Somebody save me!" I cried, only half feigning my panic. Two made me sit on her bed and went into her closet. I closed my eyes, ready to endure anything that was coming.

Four hours later, I was standing in front of the mirror, not believing my eyes. Two had truly created a miracle. I was wearing a dress made out of many layers of thin crimson silk. It had no sleeves and the top was adorned with tiny black hearts. My shoulder-length ebony hair was for once properly brushed and shone in the light that fell in through the red-tinted glass of the windows. Also, I was wearing a pair of black sandals with tiny rubies on them. I'd refused the make- up Two had wanted to put on my face, though.  
"You look beautiful!" Two cried and hugged me. "Now go and have fun with your hatter," she told me as I left her room. "He's not _my_ hatter!" I cried indignantly, but Two merely laughed and closed her bedroom door. I went down to the throne room to tell my parents I was going to leave now. Mother smiled when she saw me (was there something wrong with her?) and got up from her throne to embrace me (now I was getting worried). "Oh, you look so beautiful, darling!" she cried. I was amazed, but happy. Mother usually wasn't the hugging type. My father came to embrace me as well. "You look like a true princess," he beamed. Then he stepped back and put his arm around his wife's shoulders in a protective, reassuring way. Father always seemed to protect mother from something, though from what I could never understand when I was a child. I think mother probably was never the strong person everyone thought her to be, and father wasn't as timid as he appeared. Someone once compared my parents to a "lioness married to a lamb". Mother wasn't a lioness. She was a bitter, scared, angry little person. And father might not have had the heart of a lion, but he could be brave when he needed to. "Remember to take a guard with you!" mother cried after me as I was leaving the throne room. I snapped my fingers at a Four of Diamonds. "You there, come along," I ordered. He obediently followed me and we left the castle.  
We walked across the red sands of the Crimson Desert in silence. One might wonder why I ventured to cross a desert on foot; the truth is, things never take as long as estimated in Underland. It only took us fifteen minutes to cross the desert and reach the Mushroom Forest. The Mushroom Forest was an eerie place. Blue mist wafted across the soft ground and many unseen creatures could be heard amongst the stems of the giant mushrooms.  
I knew that the Wise Blue Caterpillar, Absolem, lived here somewhere. No one knew how old he was, or when he came here. He was the keeper of the Oraculum, the sacred roll of parchment which shows each and every day since the beginning. I had once had the honour to meet Absolem and see the Oraculum when I was six years old. I'd only been allowed to see past and present though, because seeing the future was a privilege rarely granted to anyone. I saw Carendush Day, the I was born, which featured a picture of my father holding up a tiny baby for everyone to see; Gulbilub Day, the day on which my parents had been married and crowned; Hordik Day, the coronation of my aunt Mirana; and also Twillig Day, the day on which the first Hightopp hatter had made his first hat. That had been one of the oldest pictures I had got to see, and yet, the ink hadn't fainted a bit. When I had asked Absolem why the ink didn't fade, he merely replied: "Because it's magic ink, stupid girl!" I giggled at the memory. After a while, the mushrooms got lesser and lesser and were finally replaced by normal trees. (Normal for Underlandian standards, not Upperlandian!) We had entered the Tulgey Woods, the most dangerous forest in Underland, for here lived a monstrous dragon-like creature called "Jabberwocky". Only few had seen it and lived to tell the tale, but there was an ancient poem about a hero slaying the beast. It goes like this:

**Jabberwocky**

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves  
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;  
All mimsy were the borogoves,  
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!  
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!  
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun  
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand;  
Long time the manxome foe he sought—  
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,  
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,  
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,  
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,  
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through  
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!  
He left it dead, and with its head  
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?  
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!  
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"  
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves  
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;  
All mimsy were the borogoves,  
And the mome raths outgrabe.

The poem was in most books illustrated by a picture of a gruesome beast being slain by a  
knight in shining armour. The Vorpal Sword, which is mentioned in the poem, belonged to Queen Mirana and was used by her White Knight, who had a rank similar to that of our  
Knave. The Bandersnatch and the Jubjub Bird on the other hand had been part of my mother's dowry. The Bandersnatch lived in a shed in the stable courtyard while the Jubjub had its aerie in the highest tower of Salazen Grum.  
In the very heart of the Tulgey Woods, already part of the Chess Kingdom, was the village of Witzend. Witzend had been the home of the Hightopp Clan since the very beginning. Tulgey Mill, which I was heading to, wasn't far away from the village. Between the mill and the village ran the invisible border between the Card and the Chess Kingdom. The wood was getting thinner and soon we had reached a clearing. A large mill dominated the scene. It somehow reminded me of a rabbit's face. In front of the mill, a long table set out, together with a couple of mismatched chairs and stools. The table was covered with dozens of teapots and cups, plates filled with different treats and some downright odd things like bottles of Pishalver (a shrinking potion) and various hat-making tools. I told the Card Guard to wait at the edge of the clearing and went towards the tea table, which, as I now realized, consisted of a few different tables lined up in a row. There were three guests at the Tea Party: The hatter, who sat in a large chair at the head of the table; a hare, sitting to the hatter's right side, but further down the table; and a dormouse in breeches opposite of the hare. Tarrant, the hatter, got up and marched right across the long table, ignoring his companions' cries of dismay. Much to my surprise, he didn't smash anything.  
"Your highness," he said, bowing, "it is an honour to have you here." He led me around the long table and gallantly showed me to my seat, which was directly next to his. Then he took his own seat again. "May I introduce you to my friends? This is Thackery Earwicket, our host," he said gesturing towards the hare. Thackery Earwicket waved with both hands and ears. I waved back, smiling. "And this is my dear friend Mallymkun the Dormouse," Tarrant said brightly, waving his hands at the dormouse. The tiny creature glared at me with its large dark eyes and then came scurrying across the table towards me. I noticed she had a hatpin tied to her belt like a sword, which was probably what the hatpin really was used for. She continued glaring at me disdainfully until the hatter coughed nervously and the dormouse finally said something. "Your eyes look weird. They're red," she stated. Who was she to comment on my eyes, little rodent! Nevertheless, I smiled kindly. "I know. The Crims Colour Switch. It's rare, but it occurs in some generations." Tarrant looked at me with great interest. "What's the Crims Colour Switch?" he asked, sounding curious. "It's a rare phenomenon among the Crims Dynasty," I answered. "Sometimes, a girl is born which will look exactly like her mother, except that the colour of eyes and hair are turned round," I continued. "So, instead of my mother's red hair and dark eyes, I have black hair and red eyes, but apart from that I'm basically my mother's younger twin." The hare gave a surprised sound and looked me over, then took out a spoon from his waist coat and used it as mirror, trying to tidy his fur. Tarrant examined me critically. "You look very much like her," he finally said. Then he reached for the nearest teapot. "Tea, your highness?" he offered. "Yes, please." Steaming tea was poured into my cup. The hare bent towards me. "Would ya like some scones?" he asked me. I nodded, and a scone was thrown across the table. "Sugar?" the dormouse offered, seemingly warming up towards me. "Oh, yes please" The dormouse was busy building a catapult with a spoon. "One lump or two?" she asked. "Two please," I said, watching the mouse with some interest. She placed two lumps of sugar on the spoon and then jumped onto the other end of it, making the sugar lumps fly across the table towards me. With a neat "plop" they landed in my cup. "Wow, thanks!" I said, astonished. The dormouse smiled. "My pleasure. Please call me Mally, all my friends do. Sorry about the unfriendly welcome, but I'm always suspicious of newcomers," she said, blushing underneath her silky white fur. "That's alright. You were right anyway, my eyes _are_ weird," I said, laughing. "Are not!" Tarrant suddenly protested. We all looked at him, surprised. He blushed. "I-I think your eyes are beautiful. There unusual, but that makes them unique," he said with a slight lisp in his voice. Now it was my turn to blush. "Oh, thank you," I stuttered, "Your eyes are unique to," I said shyly. Normally I'm not shy at all, but I wasn't myself today. Tarrant's eyes suddenly turned pink. "What the-" I began, but I was interrupted by Mally's laughter. "What's so funny?" I asked, puzzled. "Tarrant's eyes change colour according to his emotions," Mally explained. "And pink means he feels flattered or awkward," she continued, almost wetting herself by now. "MALLY!" Tarrant cried, blushing furiously. An awkward silence set in.  
"Um…so, since when do you make hats?" I asked, trying to change the subject. Tarrant beamed, obviously liking my question. "Since I was a wee lad. Me father taught me, ye ken," he said with a slightly Outlandish accent. "So your father's also a hatter. What about the rest of your family? Do you have any siblings?"I asked. Tarrant nodded. "Two younger sisters, Brillana and Gwenog. I love them dearly, but sometimes they're the a real pest," he answered, laughing. I laughed too, knowing exactly how he felt. "Yeah, I know the feeling. My siblings, especially my brothers, can be very annoying at times," I said, thinking of my many brothers and sisters. Tarrant looked at me, an apologetic look on his face.  
"I must once again apologize for not recognizing you, your highness," he said. "Oh forget about it. And please, quit the `your highness´ thing. My name's Ace."  
"Ace," said Tarrant.  
"Tarrant," said I.  
Than we both started laughing again. Suddenly, I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. The Four of Diamonds which had accompanied me was standing behind me. "Your highness," he began in a low, respectful tone, "I think it's time we returned. It is getting dark and the king and queen said you must be back before sunset." I sighed, not wanting to go one bit.  
"I'm afraid he's right, Tarrant, I really must leave. Thackery, Mally," I said, nodding at the two animals. "Fairfarren all," I said. "Fairfarren,your highness," cried Mally and Thackery.  
"Fairfarren, dear Ace," Tarrant said softly.

"Fairfarren…_dearest Tarrant_."


End file.
